Why I Run - Rambling Thoughts

I've been in somewhat of a inward-philosophical frame of mind through the last week, and decided I'd put together some of the thoughts running around my head at the moment. It's long and rambly.

Something I have been thinking about over the last two months, particularly during the darker days of August as I struggled with the flu, is why I run.

I have a standard prepared response for this question when it is raised by others from time to time: it is a time efficient activity, and appeals to the time-obsessive aspect of my personality. It combines exercise, accommodates my need for competition, provides numbers for later analysis and comparison, and has provided an excellent social base for both myself and EliseS, something I have battled a bit since we moved up from Melbourne in 1998.

Thinking on it more deeply raises further issues. Looking on the circumstances in which I took up running again gives a fairly standard response. In late 1999, I realised that as I approached 30 my physical condition was getting out of control. I was eating badly, drinking too much, stressed from work and the only exercise I was getting was a round of golf once a week. With my father in the grave before he turned 60, and my mother started to show the signs of what early in 2000 turned out to lung cancer, health issues came to the forefront and I realised that I had to make lifestyle choices that would affect the rest of my life. I bit the bullet, took a job a lot closer to home, joined a gym, and started to shed weight and improve fitness. I hit a plateau in late 2001, and with the spark of a friend’s wife doing the City 2 Surf, I decided to take up running. After much research and buying some kit, I hit the roads in January 2002, with the intent of doing the City 2 Surf. Running provided a mental solace during the month we were in Melbourne dealing with the final stages of my mother’s terminal lung cancer, and the miles came up quickly. I found myself at the start of the 2002 SMH Half Marathon which I completed in around 1 hour 55 minutes, and the rest is, as they say, history.

I could have stayed a weekend warrior, a hack, and for a year, I guess I was. The obsessive, competitive streak in me would not be denied, and soon enough I was a Sydney Strider and pushing harder to run faster.

Fine – but why running?

I have a suspicion that I may have chosen running to prove something to myself. Through years of playing cricket and baseball up until my mid-twenties, I’d always looked at running as a fairly difficult and pointless task – one ran to retrieve a ball, to score a run, to get to the wicket to accept a throw from a fieldsman (I kept wickets), never just to get somewhere. Track seemed even more pointless, running around in circles (and yes, I am aware of the irony of being a motorsport fan where that is basically the same thing). Not to mention runners being injury prone – most people I knew who ran invariably carried some sort of niggle. It seemed all too hard for too little reward.

As my fitness improved through 2001, I was looking to the next level. Running was a natural step from the long hard bike rides I was doing around Sydney (and a lot less likely to get me killed!). The physical side made sense. Mentally, it was a bit of a leap, and it represents an ongoing battle.

Getting deeper into it, half of the appeal now is overcoming the mental barriers – the wanting to stop through a long run because it’s hard and painful, the pushing hard in speed sessions even though I know the lungs will burn and the legs will scream. I think it is this that has sucked me into the vortex. I’ve traditionally battled with the mental side of physical activities – cricket, baseball and golf – and found the hardest opponent to overcome was myself. Running is no different – the internal voices that tell you that you’re too old and fat for this nonsense, that you’ve done enough for today, that your times are respectable and you can sit comfortably on them, that you’re doing more than 95% of the population. For mine, running is not so much about necessarily defeating those voices, but not being afraid of the confrontation, and understanding that sometimes the voices will win, and it’s not the end of the world when they do, because there will be other days when you will win, and provide an exhilaration and a feeling of personal, internal triumph for which there is probably no equal. I think that now is the driver – to no longer fear the confrontation with the personal demons of self-doubt and fear of failure.

I’m reminded of the great JFK quote about the moon project: “we do these things not because they are easy, but because they are hard”.

For mine – I may not necessarily enjoy the actual running, and it would be fair to say that generally I find it painful and inconvenient, but I do love the fact that I run. And that is enough.

Thoughs on September, October and the rest of the year

Well, that's September out of the way. I feel that I have made a gentle, but positive return to running and training over the last three and a weeks, and laid a reasonable foundation for the remaining three months of 2005.

October's theme will be training. On top of this, I've set some things to focus on in the coming three months:
- ensure I do all prescribed training miles, particularly the speed sessions
- continue to work on core stability exercises
- try to finish each session positively, even if I've had a poor session. Thinking on it, at the start of 2000 I was 94kg and very unfit - that I run at all is of itself a minor miracle. A simple 'well done' at the end of each session, even an insignificant 30 minute recovery jog, is in order
- continue to work on diet
- boring though it is, do my 30-40 minute recovery sessions on the grass at Bedlam Bay. More miles on grass can only help
- resume use of the Garmin and HRM, but don't read too much into the data

I lost quite a bit of fitness and condition with the flu - I estimate I am probably in 38 minute 10k shape at the moment, so as mentioned yesterday I think I've lost 9-12 seconds per kilometre in outright pace - but the advantage for me now is that I'm stronger and lighter. I'd like to think of the next three months as a marathon training program without a marathon at the end, building a base for an assault on 2006. I think taking the mental intensity out of training over the last three weeks was a good move. It enabled me to just run, rather than worry about the numbers so much.

30 min easy

Up at 5:30am on a clear, still crisp morning. Bit stiff in the legs initially from last night's efforts and shuffled over to the oval at Bedlam Bay to wobble around for half an hour. Legs feel much better for it.

6km temp

Cool breezy night at Centennial Park.

Got through a 15 minute warm up with the legs feeling okay, probably the best they've felt for a Thursday session in a while, although the drills seemed to take their toll.

Session was a 6km tempo. Ran it in 23:01, which I was a little disappointed with. Started a 3:45 lap and just seemed to ease out a couple of seconds a lap from there out to a 3:53 on lap 5, managing a 3:49 for the last. Seemed stuck in gear and couldn't lift. It was blowy and soft underfoot with the rain from the last two days, and I guess Tuesday and Wednesday's efforts were still in the system. Legs seemed okay, just top-end restricted.

Thinking on it, I would hazard a guess that the flu and subsequent cold has cost me around 9-12 seconds per kilometre in outright pace. October will be about getting that back.

15 min cool down to finish.

90 minutes

Alarm went at 5:30am so EliseS could go for her walk. I levered myself out of bed around 10 minutes later and was out of the door just after 5:50am. Legs felt okay after last night's workout.

Pretty well ran the reverse of last Wednesday's route. Felt okay - lower leg pain was much reduced - if a little stiff. Never really felt I had much in the way of speed. Ran a touch over 1h35m, which looks to be the same as last week. Uphill version of the route, no mid-run breaks, so I guess this morning was a better hit out. Certainly felt a lot better.

Did the bridges part of my core workout - I'll do my lunges and squats later.

5km windsprints

Fooled around with some swiss ball work and yoga stretches at lunch.

Down to ES Marks for the usual Tuesday night short blasts. Took my 2100s for some added cushioning. Through a 15 min warm up and felt okay.

SW suggested running 4.8km to make it an even 12 laps, and that the times should be close to what you'd expect for a 5km time trial. I ran 18:42, close to my Sunday 5km race time. Format was to basically 'float' the bends and attack the straights. Took the splits but forgot to look at them, lap times felt pretty even. I was probably guilty of dogging it a bit on the floats, but I felt I made good efforts on the sprints, particularly the last 3-4 laps.

15 min cool down rounded off the evening.

Don't seem to have come up anywhere near as bashed up from the session. I think this can attributed to two factors - the 2100s, and not belting the bends, which is where I think the problems are stemming from.

30 min easy

Wheeled out a bit after 6pm for an easy half hour. Felt pretty good, although some lower leg soreness and a couple of little niggles in the knees - tomorrow night is the track's last chance.

Got through a bit over 6km in the time, probably around 6.15 - 6.2.

SMC 5k

Out to Smithfield on a humid morning for the start of the SMC series. Only doing the 5km today.

Started saw a fellow called Gary do an absolute bolter, as if he was on for sub 15 mins. The two young blokes in front of me caught him at about 600 metres, and I got him a bit before 1km. Through 1km in about 3:40 or so.

Missed the time at the turnaround. Of the two young blokes at the front, one went on to do the 10k. He was too far down the road to catch. Gary put another burst on here, and went past, but I again got him fairly quickly. From there, I worked to put enough of a gap into him to ensure I had any other potential surges covered, and put in a reasonable finish to manage 18:33 for second outright, and an age group win.

Felt better at the finish than at the start, and thought I put in a pretty constant solid effort. Felt a bit speed restricted - I'm sure that'll come good over the next few weeks.

30 min easy

Ended up missing the CR5k challenge due to 'tiredness'.

Got out at half time in the AFL Grand Final and rolled around the oval at Bedlam Bay for half an hour. Bit of lower leg soreness, but otherwise unremarkable.

30 min easy

With CR drinks this evening, had to get out and do my 30 minutes this morning. And they were horrible - slow, stiff and niggly. Well less than 6km covered. Still, they're done.

6 x 1k

Fairly abbreviated 2k warm up with the wonders of public transport on a mild Thursday night.

Session was 6 x 1km with 2 minute recovery. Times started with a 3:34, and then varied from 3:37 to 3:39. Consistency was pleasing considering I set the watch to 'split' rather than 'lap' and was in the dark as to what my rep times were. Legs were still feeling a bit from the last two days and it was fairly windy.

Would have been nice to have been 4-5 seconds quicker, but I just need to be patient and do the work to get back to where I was. I don't think I'm far away, possibly only 3 to 4 weeks, but patience was never a long suit.

90 minutes

Felt pretty beaten up this morning after last night's track session, so decided not to run to work, rather trusting a core stability and stretch session would take care of any stiffness. Which it did, to an extent.

Shuffled out on to the Pacific Highway a bit after 5, and ran the reverse of my usual Wednesday morning 90 minute route, except for a little deviation off the Bay Run at about the 1.5k mark of the CR course up to Lyons Road.

Lower legs were pretty sore and I was fairly uncomfortable stomach-wise through most of the run Ran the course in a bit over 1 hour 35 minutes. Uphills were particularly difficult. Must have copped just about every red pedestrian light along the way as well.

Still, its done.

2 x 300m (1/3), 7 repeats

Translated, that means:
- do a 300 metre 'sprint'
- jog a 1 minute recovery
- do a 300 metre 'sprint'
- jog a 3 minute recovery
Repeat this process seven times. Yup, 14 x 300.

Small group of us tonight, only three, and the young lass only did the first three reps, so it was Marty and myself after I got through a fairly short warm up (about an hour to get to ES Marks from St Leonards via pubic transport. Pardon my spelling).

First rep was 54, and the rest varied from between 55 and 57 seconds. Slow, but with pleasing consistency. Impact soreness doesn't seem to be quite as bad tonight.

Fairly abbreviated cooldown as I was keen to get home. Solid session.

50 min easy, 10 x 100m sprints

Slept in this morning, and did core stability at lunch.

Ran home in the drizzle and light rain, from St Leonards to Tarban Creek Reserve. SW had built in an unexpected bonus on the end of this run, with a 10 x 100m sprints. Best I could manage close to home was the soccer (yes, SOCCER! Not football. You were last in. Deal with it) field at Tarban Creek Reserve. Some quick research reveals that a soccer field can be between 90 to 120 metres in length (100 to 110 metres for internationals). I suspect this ground is a touch longer. Sprints over well grassed ground went from 18.8 down to about 18.5 through the first five, working down to a touch over 17 through the final five as I gained more confidence.

Interesting twist to the session. I felt pretty good at the end after the sprints, better than I usually feel after the run home. Good one.

2 hours - Centennial Park

Hit Centennial Park at 7am to get half an hour in before joining up with the main squad at 7:30am at Mackay Oval. Followed the usual long run policy of not eating beforehand, and was a bit pecking through the first half hour. There weren't many there at 7:30am (just Easy Tiger, Brightshoes, Don Juan and Amjan), as one of the squad had gotten married the previous day, and the fleet of juniors seemed to be on a 60 minute run, and we would see the bulk of them at 8.

Felt okay until the 1 hour mark, where I started to feel a little light-headed and distant, and from 90 minutes it was a real grind, I fell off the back of the group at about 1:40, and shuffled the rest of the run out alone, with periodic sights of the group. Felt much better after a Powerade and a gel.

Just seemed to be short of fuel, and out of practice running on fat. Tough session, but good in the long run.

Sat PM - 40 min easy

Ventured back out just after 5pm for today's second adventure, this time an easy 40 minutes. Felt much freer than I did this morning, rolling along quite comfortably. Wind was still an issue, but I managed to knock out a bit over 8k in the alloted time.

Sat AM - 6km hard

Had hopes of making the squad training this morning, but a combination of needing sleep, and not being 100% sure of where/when the squad met saw me take a sleep in.

Headed out just before 8:30 and ran from Gladesville to the start of the Bay Run as a warm up (bit over 4.5k). Did some quick drills, and then started the 6k (to the CR 3k marker and back). Didn't feel fantastic at the start, but was moving along okay until I hit the strong headwind at the 1k which really took some effort to maintain any semblance of pace against. Hit the 3k turnaround in 12:03, and seemed locked into 4 min/k pace despite the wind being behind to finish the 6k in 24:03. A little disappointed, would have liked to have been comfortably under 4 min/k pace, but a hard session nonetheless, so it all goes towards building cardio fitness.

Ran back home to Gladesville, a cool down highlighted by seeing Truckie and Aunty K who were returning from playing with their new toys. Uh, bike training...

31 min recovery

Up at 5:40am to get my recovery run out of the way. Felt slow and lead-footed, and it showed on the clock. Seemed to come reasonably good over the last two km, and felt better at the completion.

Will do an abs/core session at lunchtime to round off a productive week. Good to be back on track.

6 x 500

Back to work on a mild and breezy evening. A little pressed for time and only managed a 12 minute warm up, plus some drills. 500s went:
1:37
1:36
1:36
1:38
1:40
1:40

Finished with a 15 minute cool down. Wasn't sure what to target for the session - want to be under 3:30 per km pace, which I was, with the slowest reps around 3:20 pace. Grouping was fairly tight, considering I haven't done a lot of speedwork of late and I'd not done this distance before.

Saw the Horned one this morning - normal systems check but got him to look at the left knee and my left shoulder/neck. Bit of acupuncture in both spots and some manipulation saw both much improved, but I do find the neck manipulations a bit freaky. I have this fear that one day he's going to go a little too far and turn me into a quadriplegic.

Some pics from Sunday..

40m easy

Managed to lever myself out of bed at 5:30 and took advantage of a beautiful morning to wobble around for 40 mins for just over 8km. Still fairly sore, although I usually am when I 'back to back' runs evening and morning like this, and seemed to come home okay.

Also, given that there is some spam creeping into the comments, I'm going to have to go with password protection for comments. Apologies for the inconvenience.

44:11 easy run

40 minutes easy run on the schedule. Vague aspirations of getting and running first thing came to nought, so I decided to run home from work for a bit of variety. Took a couple of short cuts and made the the trip from St Leonards to Gladesville in 44:11, a record. Run was fairly painful in the lower legs early on (combination hard surface and gradual rise) and never rose to great heights, although felt okayish at the finish.

Experimented with some core stability Swiss Ball techniques at the gym at lunchtime which I'll try to do on alternative days to my other core work.

30 min recovery

An easy 30 min recovery run this evening, managing a bit over 6km. Some soreness and weakness in the quads apparent on climbs, but otherwise fine. I was a good boy at lunch and recommenced my core stability program.

I wore the Nike Frees all day at work (didn't run in them), and was surprised to find at lunch time that the soreness in my left arch, which was quite apparent when I got up, was gone. Walking in the morning seemed to give the feet a good, satisfying stretch. I did have to put in a quick bolt to catch the 536 at Lane Cove (after walking there from St Leonards) on the way home, and they felt okay to run in. They feel like a softer version of the Asics Magic Racers - probably the lack of a raised heel contributing to that. They are very comfortable to walk around in though.

Starting to feel my motivation coming back, too. Thinking of targeting the Central Coast Half Marathon in December as my next 'big one'.

Blackmore's Half

Didn't really have a target time in mind - thought 87 was realistic, and 85 something would have been nice.

Fairly muggy morning. Shoelace came undone at 2km, left nipple tape came off at 5km. It pissed down along the Western Distributor, taking the edge off the humidity (for a while - this is Sydney). Ran with Don Juan for pretty well the rest of the event, except where I edged ahead through The Rocks, and he saw me off down the Cahill Expressway. Finished in 87:39 or so, which would probably have been 87 flat barring incidents. Solid effort, noticed the lack of cardio fitness.

Arch of my left foot was quite sore at the finish (lack of running in the DS Trainers, methinks). Saw Podrunner at the finishing area, who recommended amongst other things a pair of Nike Frees. So I bought some.

A lap of the Bay Run

Over to the Bay Run a bit before 8am on a warm, slightly humid morning. Set off from Timbrell Park, and completed a lap of the Bay in 32:50. Felt pretty ordinary at the start, with lower leg soreness and some stiffness, but felt half decent over the last 2k. Did some drills to finish.

40 mins, easy

Up at 5:30am for an easy 40 minutes on a still, clear and fresh morning, something a touch over 8km. Felt pretty stiff and sore through the run, with some improvement over the last 3k. Nice to see some light around at at time of day.

In case you're wondering why I'm not giving precise distances from GPS at the moment, I've decided to run with just the Timex watch (i.e. without the GPS pod) for a while, just to take some of the mental intensity out my training.

Moore Park 3 x 1k

15 minute or so warm up on a mild, breezy night, then 3 x 1km with a 2:30 recovery. Repeats went 3:29, 3:31 and 3:34. Felt abut halfway through the second rep that I'd gone through the first one too hard - as many in the squad did. Still, probably quicker than I was expecting.

Still feeling quite sore from Tuesday, although this was lessened through the session as blood moved through the legs.

10 minute cooldown and some stretches to finish the session.

Two in a row

Got out for an easy 45 mins after getting home in the evening. Didn't take the GPS - guess around 9.6k. Was pretty stiff to start but wasn't too bad after about half a km in, and the left knee (not right as previously reported) was fine - still feels like it has a bit of a kink in it, but was unaware of it when running. Nice to be out and felt pretty good at the end - good to feel that little buzz again.

...and yes, I'm running the Blackmore's half on Sunday. Not really planning on a time, just want to get out there and enjoy it. I'll just get through the first 5k and see how it goes from there.

Reports of my demise...

...have been greatly exaggerated...

With my cold peaking mid-last week, I gave up on any pretension of running and had some aspirations of running at the Striders 10k. A combination of a late night on Friday night (catching up with my mate) and a sleep-in saw that go Saturday morning out the window, meant I was a no-show, and indeed didn't run until last night. I elected to make it a complete break to mentally refresh, given how down I was post C2S.

So, back to work last night with squad at ES Marks.

16 minute gentle warm up, then drills. 10 x 200m, with 1 min recovery between each, 3 min recovery after three. It went:
32 33 32, 31 32 31, 31 33 34, 32
10 minute gentle cool down jog.

Very different, running short sprints on a track. I've pulled up a bit sore this morning, with a bit of a kink in the right knee (nothing serious, think I slept on it funny).

Four weeks on...

Been four weeks since I copped the flu - and it seems to have been forever, what with the cold that followed it. The cold is gradually improving after peaking on Tuesday, but I still feel 'swollen' in the sinuses and haven't run since last Thursday's 5 x 1km.

I'm tossing up whether to run the 10k tomorrow. I certainly won't be racing it, but it would be good to get out with the group and run, even if it's 45 minutes. My best mate is coming up from Melbourne (well, country Victoria) tonight and I think it might be cool for him to get a little insight into the circles I move in up here. We'll see - might even go up just to spectate.

In any event, I will get out for a couple of jogs over the weekend. My mate heads back on Monday night, so we need to work out we're doing Monday (I've taken the day off). Might head up into the hills.